One of the main themes of my book “Some People Even Take Them Home,” A Disabled Dad, A Down syndrome Son and Our Journey to Acceptance is that my Down syndrome son, Jason, is five years-old and 35 at the same time.
Sometimes he is a scared, befuddled and overwhelmed child and at other times Jason is a man of the world with wise insight largely fueled by television and movies. When he visited Arizona along with his siblings over Christmas the five-year-old was on full display.
Within minutes of arriving, Jason arranged the five stuffed toys he brought from his group home in single file on his bed against the wall. He does so unabashedly but please do not call the toys dolls or toys. That insults the 35 year-old Jason who maintains a self image of an adult.
The adult Jason expects the privileges of an adult, but is absolutely stunned when you are unhappy that he has mixed his clean underwear with dirty underwear. A five-year-old just can’t see why such niceties matter.
On his trip his siblings got a delicious look at Jason’s self image. As we discussed the book somebody brought up the far-fetched notion of a movie about the book. When Jason’s younger brother, Jeff, asked who Jason wanted to play him in the movie, Jason never paused. “The Rock,” he declared with no hint of irony.
The Rock, or Dwayne Johnson, is a muscled wrestler and actor who was once a defensive tackle in football. The similarity between Jason and The Rock go no further than the fact they are both males. That does not faze Jason in the least because a five-year-old wants what a five-year-old wants.
Logic and realism come to us as we grow older, as we mature and as we gradually come top grips with what we are and what we are not. Jason has never been able to make that journey. He is sweetly funny about his state, but his lack of recognition is bitterly disappointing and frustrating too.
That is the debilitating reality of a cognitive disability.